AU stands for Alternate Universe
by cities
Summary: Adopted from Emo Hippie YTF. Percy gets sucked into another universe, or something; and if that isn't bad enough, he has to save the Greek demigods and their camp from destruction by the dastardly Romans and their orders to create a new hyperpantheon bypass. (Under Rewrite)
1. Introduction of a Secondary Character

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I do not own the original plot of this story. I do not own this chapter.**

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**The Totally Hyped-Up Introduction of Someone Who Will Turn Out to be a Somewhat Unimportant and Largely Secondary Character (Spoiler: it isn't the hot chick at the end. In fact, she turns out to be rather important.)**

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There was silence. Well kind of. The birds were chirping and the waves were crashing against the shore. There was that, and the distant sound of kids playing around. But, when you block that entire noise out, there was silence.

My name is Jackson, Percy Jackson. Ok, I know, bad James Bond impression.

I sat on the edge of the lake, gazing into the depths. After the war, everything's been a whole lot more peaceful. Everything was good again-well, except for, you know, the casualties.

And Annabeth and I?

Well let's just say just because we're dating doesn't mean we don't argue and threaten each other during Capture the Flag.

A rapid movement caught my eye. I noticed this small bird fly across the lake. It seemed to be holding on to something. The 'something' shone in the sunlight. It looked like a small crystal marble, or something.

I only got to see it for a few seconds before the bird dropped it into the lake.

At first nothing happened. Then, the water around the splash started to bubble, like in those creepy movies where a mutant was going to come out of the swamp.

I quickly got up to get a better look.

The bubbling had stopped and water started to swirl.

My curiosity got the better of me.

This is usually the moment someone like Annabeth would go off saying "Curiosity killed the cat".

Well one, I never understood that line, and two, I'm not a cat, am I?

Diving through the water, I approached the area.

Big mistake.

There was a force dragging me into the centre, a lot like the one Grover must have felt back when we were in the Underworld and those shoes started dragging him off.

Let's just say, being sucked through that thing was definitely not the best experience ever.

Then suddenly, I popped out through the other end, like some kind of cork, and choked on the water. I gagged. It tasted foul.

That's a first.

I swam slowly to the shore, planning about mentioning this to Annabeth, when I saw her walking past.

But there was something different about her. She wore silver clothes, just like Thalia did. She even had the same circlet.

This had to be some kind of joke. When did Annabeth join the Hunters? And even if she did, why would she be wearing Thalia's circlet?

Pulling myself up, I called out to her.

"Hey Annabeth!"

She turned around to see me-obviously, as there was no one else around. She started marching towards me, her eyes narrowing.

Next thing I knew, she was standing in front of me with her dagger at my neck.

"Who are you?"


	2. There is a theory which states that etc

There is a theory which states that if if one disrespects the gods too much, they will become very, very angry and show their true forms simultaneously; this will wipe out humanity and the gods will have to recreate it from scratch, omitting the offending parts.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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**more a/n than story; I'm currently rewriting this whole thing, except c1. It'll be...similar and yet yet totally different than the direction it was taking before. **


	3. We Apologize for the Inconvenience

**It is important to note that** **by reading this story, _you have ensured your certain demise_**. A swarm of monsters is now headed your way, hungry and ready to devour you.

Due to certain lawsuits still in progress, and the slow moving beuracracy of the editing branch of the company that published this book, we were not able to warn you before this chapter.

You can run and hide, if you like. In fact, we ecourage you to, though by now the monsters have probably already eaten you.

**We apologize for the inconvenience.**


	4. The Backwash of Western Civilisation

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of Western Civilisation lies a camp, built by a centaur for the purpose of training heroes. Its annual export of strawberries, however, is by and large much more profitable than it's export of heroes. Recently, and in fact ever since the camp was started, the strawberries were plump and delicious, but the heroes were poorly trained and cheap.


	5. Editor's Note: The Camp

When the camp was started it consisted of this: one beach, which was rocky and full of pebbles and overall just not a good beach; one large clearing full of outgrown roots and gopher holes that tripped and sprained many feet and ankles, but couldn't be torn up for fear of offended various gods, goddesses, and the nature spirits who were the centaur's indentured servants; and one large, dark forest that was full of dangerous monsters, but that hardly counted because the campers weren't allowed to go in it anyway, unless it was Friday in which case they could only go in it to fight each other.

The only good aspect of the camp was that it included a particularly fine field of strawberry bushes, which produced very juicy and sweet strawberries. All in all, the camp was wonderful for one wanted to run a strawberry service, which the centaur did, but was absolutely useless for the training of heroes, which was the centaur's job.

No guess can be made as to why the centaur chose this particular spot to train heroes, as he was around long before humans were and had the prime pick of location*. However, no one questioned his judgement because he was a centaur and centaurs are widely regarded as the wisest creatures in the world+.

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*Contrary to popular belief, Western Civilisation did not, in fact, start in Greece. It started, and has always been, in what is now known as the United States of America. (previously known as India, Something Else In the Language of the Native Peoples, and Ug) Greece was merely a paid-for vacation for the so-called Greek deities who ruled Western Civilisation, whereupon they proceeded to bring attention to themselves by having the largest, longest, and most incestuous orgy ever. As no one had noticed them before, it is commonly taught in other pantheons that they originated on Mount Olympus, where the orgy was held. (Only the Hindu pantheon has abstained from this teaching, opting to instead teach that the Greek deities, along with everything else in the world, are an illusion, and that the universe does not exist.)

The orgy is still active.

+Outside of the various deities devoted to this particular trait, of course.


	6. Backwash of Western Civilisation Cont

This camp has, or rather had, a problem, which was this: most of the demigods in it were dying pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small pieces of paper over maps, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small pieces of paper that were dying. And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with magical items. Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in thinking this was a step up from thinking they were human in the first place. And some said that even being humans had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the god's loins. Not, of course, that there was anything they could do about that.

And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after the camp had started churning out crappy fighters, one daughter of Ares sitting on her own in a bunk bed in the back of her cabin suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the camp could start training people on how to not die. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get die or anything. Sadly, however, before she could get to a cloud of mist to IM anyone about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.

This is not her story. But it is the story of that terrible stupid catastrophe and some of its consequences. But the story of this terrible, stupid Thursday, the story of its extraordinary consequences, and the story of how these consequences are inextricably intertwined with our Hero Who We Have Yet to Discover begins very simply. It begins with a whirlpool.

Except you already read about that, so let's skip ahead to the catastrophe.


	7. If You Read the Summary

Now, if you read the summary, you probably thought that Percy Jackson the Somewhat Unimportant and Largely Secondary Character was going to save the Camp from being bulldozed by Hannibal the Elephant. Unfortunately, that summary was contrived to draw readers in by faking an interesting plot.

Sorry. Authors can be _dicks_ like that.

Percy doesn't end up saving the camp. (The bulldozing was a good way to get rid of an overall useless training camp, but a horrible waste of strawberries.) He is, however, thrust into the role of an Almost Important and Mostly Primary Character, which was probably exciting for you, but overall horrible for Percy. Primary Characters are always suffering, either from love-sickness, deaths of close friends, or just general teen angst.

The events by which Percy Jackson the Recently Upgraded Character does not save the camp are as follows.


End file.
